I know that you have come here because you are having problems in your marriage and you desperately want solutions. You have come to the right place. Since the early eighties, I have devoted myself to helping couples make their marriages work and keep their families together.
Too many people make the decision to divorce without really understanding the impact divorce will have on everyone they love. Unfortunately, many end up feeling that divorce causes more problems than it solves. I wholeheartedly want to help you find ways to motivate your spouse to work on your marriage so that you and your children (if you have them) won’t become another divorce statistic.
I feel very optimistic about this goal because over the years, I have helped thousands of couples resolve their differences and reinvent their relationships. So, in addition to all the information you will find on my website, www.divorcebusting.com, you will be able to read my thoughts about relationships here. Come back often to visit. I will help you get your marriage back on track.
Unfortunately, when presented with the information that your spouse wants out of the marriage, the strategies we use to win them back can end up backfiring and pushing them even further away. In this Q&A video, I advise that it’s best to give your spouse space when they announce that they want out of the marriage, as difficult as that might be. Additionally, I give brief insight to my “last resort technique” and how it can help to salvage your marriage.
Although infidelity is an extremely difficult issue to cope with, it doesn’t need to be a marriage dealbreaker. You should anticipate the ups and downs associated with the road to recovery when dealing with infidelity. However, once you and your spouse fight through to the other side, many times your marriage can be stronger than where it was prior to the affair.
Michele Weiner-Davis answers your marital problem e-mails. This week’s topic, “what to do when my spouse is going through a midlife crisis”.
Show Notes
Coping with your spouses midlife crisis is the topic of Michele Weiner Davis’ first Q&A video feature. Depending on how you handle this turmoil will dictate whether your marriage falls apart, or grows stronger over the long term. Weiner-Davis advises to give your spouse space, staying centered, and to focus on bettering yourself. By giving your troubled spouse time and space to figure things out for their own, they are more likely to realize that you’re not the source of their animosity.
As soon as I heard on the news that Tiger Woods smashed his car after leaving his house at some ungodly hour in the morning, I knew we were in for a tabloid blitz with speculations about the possible reasons for such a hasty exit. Then, once allegations of infidelity started to hit the airwaves, the inevitable happened- all eyes turn to the intriguing Tiger Woods mystery. Inquiring minds want to know, “What did he do?” “Why did he do it,” “How often did he do it?” “What does this mean for his marriage and more importantly, his endorsements?” So many questions, so little time.
As a professional who specializes in marriages teetering on the brink of divorce and in adulterous relationships in particular, I would like to take this opportunity to debunk the myth that the rich and famous have a corner on adulterous behavior. I see many blue collar, no-name truck drivers or tradesmen, not to mention carpooling, stay-at-home moms slide down the slippery slope of making unfaithful, risk-taking, affair-seeking choices. In case you didn’t know, infidelity is an equal opportunity employer.
So, let’s not be too quick to blame Tiger’s fame, fortune or sense of entitlement for his poor choices. While it’s true that, unlike Tiger, most of us don’t have adoring, drop-dead gorgeous fans throwing themselves at us- temptations abound nonetheless. We don’t have to look further than in the workplace, in our neighborhoods and even in our places of worship. Although for years, Tiger’s superhuman golfing skills have mesmerized us, it’s important to remember that underneath it all, he is still just a person.
I’m excited to announce a new feature that we’ll be running here at the Divorce Busting Blog. Each month, I’ll be answering a few different reader e-mails on their specific marital problems. If your marriage has fallen upon hard times, I encourage you to e-mail your issues into question@divorcebusting.com. The first video response topic is from Matt in Nevada who asks if his wife is going through a midlife crisis.
When submitting your questions, please provide as much necessary information as possible to ensure the most appropriate advice.
I need to give you a heads-up: any time a woman tries to change a man, she should expect resistance. Generally men think of themselves as independent, self-sufficient beings and are really quite averse to being told what to do. Now, I know that you’re not telling your husband what to do, but he might see it that way. Most men have radar for anything that even remotely feels like control and will resist it at any cost, even if what you’re suggesting makes perfect sense and would be beneficial to him. And when you heap on top of that the fact that you are addressing his sexuality, his ego might get extremely bruised, and if so, he will become defensive. I will help you approach your husband so that he will respond positively. Here are some tips. Continue Reading »
Look Before You Leap: Divorce Isn’t All That It’s Cracked Up to Be
When people divorce they have visions of better lives. Old problems will vanish, they hope, as new dreams take their place. These dreams usually include meeting candidates for more intimate relationships, more compatible sexual partners, improved financial status, more freedom to pursue personal goals and new opportunities to make independent choices. As explained above, these dreams frequently do not materialize, creating a whole new set of problems. Even when desired changes do occur, they are not without unintended consequences. Here are some frequent but unexpected consequences of divorce. Continue Reading »
As a psychology student, I had the opportunity (if that’s what you want to call it) to observe how quickly rats learn by observing them as they searched through mazes looking for a piece of hidden cheese. We can take a lesson from these rats.
You have a maze that contains five tunnels. Take a piece of cheese and place it down tunnel number four. Release a hungry rat and initially the rat will explore the tunnels looking for the cheese. As soon as it discovers the cheese is down tunnel number four, it will begin its search there each time. As long as you continue placing the cheese down tunnel number four, it will ignore all the other tunnels and only go down tunnel number four. However, if you change things and place the cheese down a different tunnel, the rat will very quickly switch gears and search the other tunnels. Continue Reading »
